a lot has happened i suppose in the past week. i was in the hospital because i was dehydrated, had an IV stuck in me and got all better. on friday, the group left for artsakh. it's about an eight hour ride. we stoped in gandzassar on the way there, and some other place, as well as shushi on the way back. i have to say artsakh is very beautiful. the mountains are so so so high, you feel like you can touch the moon. at night if you listen closely you can hear dogs barking from afar, they sound like wolves and it was very nice. the moon shines so brightly, i've never seen that before. it was also ara's birthday, and we celebrated with cake and champagne, and a drinking night and a huge pillow fight at the hotel nairi (we were pretty much the only ones there, and yes that is what it was called!).
we got back yesterday and went to a latino night at a hotel, i wish i knew they had a pool because people were dancing and swimming. i haven't been swimming yet, and i don't have a tan at all except for on my feet, and you can see the line of my flip-flops. ew. i barely went into the tv station last week, i don't really care to at all. i just have to go in to give the der hair his questions.. setta leaves on wednesday. :(
i had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. i think there have been too many ups and downs since i got here, and certain people in the group are so... such despicable people that i just don't see why i'd even talk to them at all at this point.
i'm going to be staying in france for two weeks i think. marie-eve is most likely not coming back to montreal ever. she's starting a life there for herself, and i am so happy for her. so i want to see her since i don't know when i'll see her next.
Showing posts with label shoghakat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shoghakat. Show all posts
Monday, July 21, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
better
hey kids,
so i was not feeling too good yesterday but i'm much better now. i went in to work late this morning because we had breakfast with hasmik (the AGBU coordinator who got us our internships). anyway this is the one day i should have been in at nine, because they went out taking photos of yerevan and stuff. damn! anyway they do this every week. what i don't understand is why they did not tell me this earlier. so now i know, and i'll go with them sometime next week. otherwise there really isn't much for me to do. i asked the priest to bless the crosses i got for my family and he has to do it at etchmiadzin. also i asked if i could interview him concerning women's issues and he didn't quite like the idea, but i told him i'd give him the questions in advance and he agreed. i think he'll only answer if he "likes" the questions, though.
one thing i really like is the language classes. our teacher (whose name i forget) is extremely passionate about the armenian language. she is beautiful and hearing her speak is such a joy even if i don't understand everything. apparently for armenians here, our western armenian is the fancy one. to them it's as though we speak at a university/academic level all the time. anyway. i'm trying now to actually speak like them. and i'm less and less intimidated, i tell them when i don't understand. i don't pretend and smile because then i look stupid. i look stupid anyway, but you know what i mean!
last night after the language class, anette, narine and i met up with chris and agop, two guys from birthright, at chris's place. we made pasta and just had a good time. it was nice to get out of the house, see other people. tonight, we're playing basket-ball!! i cannot wait. the last time i played was over a year ago with walter, one on one, and before that... i don't even know. this should be very fun. apparently the guys get very physical and agressive when they play. agop is the tallest person you've ever seen so he'll kick ass. yesterday he said he'd kick my ass even if i'm on his team. he'll block my lay-ups and everything. so it should be interesting tonight!
so i was not feeling too good yesterday but i'm much better now. i went in to work late this morning because we had breakfast with hasmik (the AGBU coordinator who got us our internships). anyway this is the one day i should have been in at nine, because they went out taking photos of yerevan and stuff. damn! anyway they do this every week. what i don't understand is why they did not tell me this earlier. so now i know, and i'll go with them sometime next week. otherwise there really isn't much for me to do. i asked the priest to bless the crosses i got for my family and he has to do it at etchmiadzin. also i asked if i could interview him concerning women's issues and he didn't quite like the idea, but i told him i'd give him the questions in advance and he agreed. i think he'll only answer if he "likes" the questions, though.
one thing i really like is the language classes. our teacher (whose name i forget) is extremely passionate about the armenian language. she is beautiful and hearing her speak is such a joy even if i don't understand everything. apparently for armenians here, our western armenian is the fancy one. to them it's as though we speak at a university/academic level all the time. anyway. i'm trying now to actually speak like them. and i'm less and less intimidated, i tell them when i don't understand. i don't pretend and smile because then i look stupid. i look stupid anyway, but you know what i mean!
last night after the language class, anette, narine and i met up with chris and agop, two guys from birthright, at chris's place. we made pasta and just had a good time. it was nice to get out of the house, see other people. tonight, we're playing basket-ball!! i cannot wait. the last time i played was over a year ago with walter, one on one, and before that... i don't even know. this should be very fun. apparently the guys get very physical and agressive when they play. agop is the tallest person you've ever seen so he'll kick ass. yesterday he said he'd kick my ass even if i'm on his team. he'll block my lay-ups and everything. so it should be interesting tonight!
Monday, July 7, 2008
the constant in my life
i am disappointed with many things at the moment. i think the fact that i've been here for a week but feel as though it's been two is a strong indication of this.
i do not like my job at the television station. today i came in later because they had a meeting. you know armenian timing, obviously they were not done when i got there. i sat down for two and a half hours just going over the french class i am preparing for the WRC, and also read the pre-arrival packet for YSIP. the pre-arrival packet. that's how bored i was. i told them today i would come in less often and they didn't seem to care much. there is nothing for me to do there, ils ne delegueront certainement aucune taches, so the only reason i will stay there is to get an interview with the der hair for the WRC. at least that job is good.
i don't want to get into it, but i'm disappointed a bit in our group. children, is all i have to say for now.
i'm disappointed with the organization of certain things. yesterday we went to Holy See Etchmiadzin. this is like mecca for armenians. i know this is most definitely not the time to use the lord's name in vain but christ... we waited around for so long. after mass we were supposed to go to the museum. well we apparently missed our tour guide so we had to wait another hour in the insane heat (keep in mind, i'm wearing dressy pants and a too-decent top, because we're in church). when we finally get the tour, it's gorgeous but doesn't last long, a half hour tops. on our way out, we stop, but for no apparent reason. a couple of us just decide to go to the bus, because what's the point of simply waiting around for nothing, especially in that heat. i should also mention that i got my period while in church. uncomfortably much? so we decide to go back to the bus. we loudly, clearly say this to others. after waiting in the bus for a half hour i call one of the girls, and they're back in the museum. seeing more. what the fuck. nobody had told us, and more importantly nobody called us to tell us. i feel like everything we do is half-assed. we stand around making decisions for so long, most of the time for an hour. that is why i'm disappointed in the group. the past two days i've found myself making decisions for everyone along with anette because otherwise it's "ooooh i don't know......" and by the time we've decided it's almost not worth it. we have a fucking curfew, you know?? make the most of the goddamn time you have out. and what bothers me even more is that some people are happy that i'm making decisions. i don't like that at all... they shouldn't be happy that someone else is deciding for them.yeah so everything is going to be like this all the time. we were supposed to be home by two, but got home by 4. it disrupts everything.
and finally, i'm disappointed with myself. i suppose i shouldn't be because all of this is absolutely out of my hands and i'm doing the best i can. i don't think i have ever said that and meant it as much as i do now. but it's hard. i cannot stand being with not only 18 people all the time, but the same 18 people. i'm not used to this, i'm used to spending my days alone. and even when i try locking myself up in my room i hear everyone yelling around the house. je n'ai aucun moment de repit.
i'm also feeling a little guilty in terms of what i am feeling towards armenia. i thought i'd feel so much more emotional and understand my heritage a lot more, and instead, i'm just all the more confused. it really makes you question yourself when you don't feel all that emotional in etchmiadzin, and it's the holy grail. i have to admit that when the priest blessed me, i cried, but otherwise... i didn't feel much. and the place is beautiful. everyone knows i am far from religious and don't necessarily even believe in god. but this place represents so much of our history and i couldn't really feel anything, even though the choir singers had the sweetest voices i've ever heard in my entire life. i feel terrible.
the only way i can possibly imagine having a good time for the rest of the time i'm here is steering clear of everyone when we're not doing mandatory activities.
i feel like i am regressing.
i do not like my job at the television station. today i came in later because they had a meeting. you know armenian timing, obviously they were not done when i got there. i sat down for two and a half hours just going over the french class i am preparing for the WRC, and also read the pre-arrival packet for YSIP. the pre-arrival packet. that's how bored i was. i told them today i would come in less often and they didn't seem to care much. there is nothing for me to do there, ils ne delegueront certainement aucune taches, so the only reason i will stay there is to get an interview with the der hair for the WRC. at least that job is good.
i don't want to get into it, but i'm disappointed a bit in our group. children, is all i have to say for now.
i'm disappointed with the organization of certain things. yesterday we went to Holy See Etchmiadzin. this is like mecca for armenians. i know this is most definitely not the time to use the lord's name in vain but christ... we waited around for so long. after mass we were supposed to go to the museum. well we apparently missed our tour guide so we had to wait another hour in the insane heat (keep in mind, i'm wearing dressy pants and a too-decent top, because we're in church). when we finally get the tour, it's gorgeous but doesn't last long, a half hour tops. on our way out, we stop, but for no apparent reason. a couple of us just decide to go to the bus, because what's the point of simply waiting around for nothing, especially in that heat. i should also mention that i got my period while in church. uncomfortably much? so we decide to go back to the bus. we loudly, clearly say this to others. after waiting in the bus for a half hour i call one of the girls, and they're back in the museum. seeing more. what the fuck. nobody had told us, and more importantly nobody called us to tell us. i feel like everything we do is half-assed. we stand around making decisions for so long, most of the time for an hour. that is why i'm disappointed in the group. the past two days i've found myself making decisions for everyone along with anette because otherwise it's "ooooh i don't know......" and by the time we've decided it's almost not worth it. we have a fucking curfew, you know?? make the most of the goddamn time you have out. and what bothers me even more is that some people are happy that i'm making decisions. i don't like that at all... they shouldn't be happy that someone else is deciding for them.yeah so everything is going to be like this all the time. we were supposed to be home by two, but got home by 4. it disrupts everything.
and finally, i'm disappointed with myself. i suppose i shouldn't be because all of this is absolutely out of my hands and i'm doing the best i can. i don't think i have ever said that and meant it as much as i do now. but it's hard. i cannot stand being with not only 18 people all the time, but the same 18 people. i'm not used to this, i'm used to spending my days alone. and even when i try locking myself up in my room i hear everyone yelling around the house. je n'ai aucun moment de repit.
i'm also feeling a little guilty in terms of what i am feeling towards armenia. i thought i'd feel so much more emotional and understand my heritage a lot more, and instead, i'm just all the more confused. it really makes you question yourself when you don't feel all that emotional in etchmiadzin, and it's the holy grail. i have to admit that when the priest blessed me, i cried, but otherwise... i didn't feel much. and the place is beautiful. everyone knows i am far from religious and don't necessarily even believe in god. but this place represents so much of our history and i couldn't really feel anything, even though the choir singers had the sweetest voices i've ever heard in my entire life. i feel terrible.
the only way i can possibly imagine having a good time for the rest of the time i'm here is steering clear of everyone when we're not doing mandatory activities.
i feel like i am regressing.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
"an umbrella!"
there is so much to say...
i guess i'll start with work. i'm working at shoghakat, a tv station, and also at the women's ressource center. shoghakat is actually a religious television station, financed by the etchmiadzin. i had absolutely no clue. so it's not really related to the media. apparently no other station wanted to take in a "non-armenian" and i can see why. the stations are definitely government-regulated. it's too bad, though... my first day at shoghakat i was shown around, and on the second day i was asked what i want to do. basically i think i'll just do some editing, because to be honest they haven't prepared any work for me. i actually felt as though they had no idea who i was when i got there, or what i was supposed to do. so i might do some editing...
i actually fell asleep on my second day. i went to the bathroom just to be able to sleep, and i fell asleep for 45 minutes in one of the control rooms. the night before i'd slept for about three hours. adrina and i went to bed but couldn't stop talking, and then at 4.30am jirair came in saying he had bed bugs and didn't know what to do. he slept on our couch, but then adrina and i got paranoid that there were bugs crawling all over us, so we got up and inspected our beds to make sure we were fine. i slept from five to eight.
ahem, back to work. the women's ressource center is amazing. i'm very impressed. adrina and i are both working here two or three times a week. she will be giving a dance/yoga class to women over 40, and i will be giving a french class. we're also going to be working on a magazine they have called feminist. i love this place. they are a lot more progressive than i expected, and in a country that won't even fund them. oddly enough they get fudning through norwegian and swedish companies who fetched them out! i'm going to be interviewing the der hair (priest) at shoghakat and probably the head director about women in the country and so on and so forth for the magazine. this should be really interesting, there is a lot to do here, unlike shoghakat.
so far we've had a traditional dance class (which is once a week), an armenian class (twice a week), and a history lecture. the language class was great - we are separated into two groups, one for retards and one for geniuses such as myself, and even the genius class is challenging. the history lecture was interesting, to say the least. armen ayvazyan is a well-known armenian historian and we got into a very heated discussion about what it takes to be armenian. he's got a bunch of criteria, and he doesn't have the balls to come out and say it out loud but basically 3/4 of our 18-person group is not armenian in his opinion. he's kind of offensive, arrogant, and attacking, and kept telling us we were wrong. we have another lecture in a few weeks. that should be damn interesting.
we've been going to restaurants but i'm sick of it because we always end up eating non-traditional food. so a couple of us have "complained." also, the traditional food here is not the same as what we have at home. what we eat at home is considered to be influenced by the turks. what they have here is influenced by the russians. so there's a lot of boring salads and coleslaw and chicken... coleslaw. in armenia. seriously. last night a couple of us went to shushi, a dance group, and it was cheesy so we left.
a lot of people have told me to stay away from the water, because i might get sick. however i've been drinking tap water and i'm fine, it actually tastes good. in fact, excuse me for being so graphic but it's the complete opposite of diarrhoea, and i'm not alone. i feel like i'm getting poisoned or something.
we've also been encountering problems with curfew. yes, we have curfew, midnight, because we are such a big group and they need to know where we are. if we're five minutes late they are supposed to close the gate and have us spend the night outside. so far this hasn't happened (although some have been late) and it's a source of conflict because we want a later curfew at least on friday and saturday.
enough about what we've been doing. about yerevan... i have to admit that i am not that impressed. despite the mountains and hills, the abundant greenery and the architecture composed of pink rock (which is typical armenian), there is something lacking. yerevan itself is not charming. i have not had an illuminating "oh my god my ancestors were here" moment, not yet at least. i'm actually really looking forward to getting out of yerevan. the way people dress here... it pains me to see it, and pains me even more to say it, but it's just not classy at all. the girls wear make-up and heels at all times and it just doesn't look good. the boys are guido's. the obvious explanation to me is that they had been so repressed by communism that they just went the other way completely. i don't even know if they think westerners dress like that, or what, but it's just not pleasant to see. i can't wait to get into the mountains and just elsewhere.
the first few days were much more intense. now everyone wants to have fun and recreate what we had so bad that it's just a dud. i haven't really spent a moment alone since i got here... i wonder when it'll get to me.
i guess i'll start with work. i'm working at shoghakat, a tv station, and also at the women's ressource center. shoghakat is actually a religious television station, financed by the etchmiadzin. i had absolutely no clue. so it's not really related to the media. apparently no other station wanted to take in a "non-armenian" and i can see why. the stations are definitely government-regulated. it's too bad, though... my first day at shoghakat i was shown around, and on the second day i was asked what i want to do. basically i think i'll just do some editing, because to be honest they haven't prepared any work for me. i actually felt as though they had no idea who i was when i got there, or what i was supposed to do. so i might do some editing...
i actually fell asleep on my second day. i went to the bathroom just to be able to sleep, and i fell asleep for 45 minutes in one of the control rooms. the night before i'd slept for about three hours. adrina and i went to bed but couldn't stop talking, and then at 4.30am jirair came in saying he had bed bugs and didn't know what to do. he slept on our couch, but then adrina and i got paranoid that there were bugs crawling all over us, so we got up and inspected our beds to make sure we were fine. i slept from five to eight.
ahem, back to work. the women's ressource center is amazing. i'm very impressed. adrina and i are both working here two or three times a week. she will be giving a dance/yoga class to women over 40, and i will be giving a french class. we're also going to be working on a magazine they have called feminist. i love this place. they are a lot more progressive than i expected, and in a country that won't even fund them. oddly enough they get fudning through norwegian and swedish companies who fetched them out! i'm going to be interviewing the der hair (priest) at shoghakat and probably the head director about women in the country and so on and so forth for the magazine. this should be really interesting, there is a lot to do here, unlike shoghakat.
so far we've had a traditional dance class (which is once a week), an armenian class (twice a week), and a history lecture. the language class was great - we are separated into two groups, one for retards and one for geniuses such as myself, and even the genius class is challenging. the history lecture was interesting, to say the least. armen ayvazyan is a well-known armenian historian and we got into a very heated discussion about what it takes to be armenian. he's got a bunch of criteria, and he doesn't have the balls to come out and say it out loud but basically 3/4 of our 18-person group is not armenian in his opinion. he's kind of offensive, arrogant, and attacking, and kept telling us we were wrong. we have another lecture in a few weeks. that should be damn interesting.
we've been going to restaurants but i'm sick of it because we always end up eating non-traditional food. so a couple of us have "complained." also, the traditional food here is not the same as what we have at home. what we eat at home is considered to be influenced by the turks. what they have here is influenced by the russians. so there's a lot of boring salads and coleslaw and chicken... coleslaw. in armenia. seriously. last night a couple of us went to shushi, a dance group, and it was cheesy so we left.
a lot of people have told me to stay away from the water, because i might get sick. however i've been drinking tap water and i'm fine, it actually tastes good. in fact, excuse me for being so graphic but it's the complete opposite of diarrhoea, and i'm not alone. i feel like i'm getting poisoned or something.
we've also been encountering problems with curfew. yes, we have curfew, midnight, because we are such a big group and they need to know where we are. if we're five minutes late they are supposed to close the gate and have us spend the night outside. so far this hasn't happened (although some have been late) and it's a source of conflict because we want a later curfew at least on friday and saturday.
enough about what we've been doing. about yerevan... i have to admit that i am not that impressed. despite the mountains and hills, the abundant greenery and the architecture composed of pink rock (which is typical armenian), there is something lacking. yerevan itself is not charming. i have not had an illuminating "oh my god my ancestors were here" moment, not yet at least. i'm actually really looking forward to getting out of yerevan. the way people dress here... it pains me to see it, and pains me even more to say it, but it's just not classy at all. the girls wear make-up and heels at all times and it just doesn't look good. the boys are guido's. the obvious explanation to me is that they had been so repressed by communism that they just went the other way completely. i don't even know if they think westerners dress like that, or what, but it's just not pleasant to see. i can't wait to get into the mountains and just elsewhere.
the first few days were much more intense. now everyone wants to have fun and recreate what we had so bad that it's just a dud. i haven't really spent a moment alone since i got here... i wonder when it'll get to me.
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